


Everything is Fine [Fic & Podfic]

by cheshiretears, FlutterFyre



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: 5+1, Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Fix-It, Podfic, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Unexpected Afterlife, canon deaths happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshiretears/pseuds/cheshiretears, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlutterFyre/pseuds/FlutterFyre
Summary: Life has seldom been what anyone in Magical Britain expected. Why should death be any different?
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25
Collections: Pod_Together 2020





	Everything is Fine [Fic & Podfic]

Cover art by [MistbornHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistbornHero/pseuds/MistbornHero)

If your browser doesn't support streaming with the HTML5 audio tag, but you can still [download this podfic here](https://archive.org/details/podfic-everything-is-fine-flutterfyre-cheshiretears) or [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cc24u6axtGK4FBMPR6WQDJSJTXJqHjan/view?usp=sharing).

Podfic length: 33:02 min | Download/stream: [Drive](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cc24u6axtGK4FBMPR6WQDJSJTXJqHjan/view?usp=sharing) | [ Archive](https://archive.org/details/podfic-everything-is-fine-flutterfyre-cheshiretears)

**One**

Sirius opened his eyes.

**_Welcome! Everything is fine._ **

The words appeared painted in green paint on the wall in front of him. The room was sparsely furnished, what furniture was there — the sofa he sat on, an ottoman, and a sideboard with a running fountain — was decidedly bland and Muggle.

His gaze returned to the words before him that were clearly intended to inspire calm.

Not happening.

He shook his head and closed his eyes again to see the Veil Room in the Department of Mysteries. The darkness was punctuated by the flashes of spells flying between his fellow Order members and Voldemort’s Death Eaters. 

_ "Come on, you can do better than that!"  _ _ Sirius remembered taunting his cousin Bellatrix, as he aimed a curse at her.  _

_ The room echoed with the insane cackle of her laughter as she shielded moments before she shrieked out, ”Avada Kedavra” and the brilliant green light of the Killing Curse arced towards him.  _

_ Dodging, Sirius lost his balance. Hit by Bellatrix’ followup curse, he remembered flailing and falling backwards into the Veil’s abyss.  _

_ Harry’s scream of, “Sirius! No!” chased him as the darkness claimed him.  _

Sirius opened his eyes again.

**_Welcome! Everything is fine._ **

The greeting remained on the wall in front of him, conflicting with memories he was certain were true. Whatever was going on — wherever  _ this _ was — it was definitely  _ not _ fine. He needed to figure out things out and then he needed to find his godson. 

He needed to find Harry.

To his left were a pair of double doors, while a single door sat towards the back of the wall to his right. His gut told him to take the door to his right. Standing, he crossed over and slowly opened it to peer out. Seeing an empty hallway, Sirius nodded to himself. He heard the soft metallic click of the doorknob behind him turning and that made his decision. 

With a thought, Sirius shifted into Padfoot and fled.

~*~*~

Eleanor opened the office door and looked out into the waiting room. The Good Place automatic notification had informed her of an arrival, but there was no one there. However, the outer door stood open.

“Well, fork me.”

~*~*~

**Two**

Fred shook his head in amazement as he wandered around The Neighborhood. He wasn’t sure what he had expected when he had awoken after apparently dying during the last stand against Voldermort at Hogwarts, but this? Definitely not. 

He knew he had been blowing off steam teasing Percy and there was an explosion, but nothing else. His heart ached to think of George grieving him. They had been together womb-to-tomb. Apparently George had survived him, as according to the greeter, Eleanor, he wasn’t here. Fred missed his twin like a limb, but even so, he was relieved George had lived — at least one of them had.

Eleanor had told him he had died and had welcomed him to The Good Place. He had walked through the center square to get his bearings before deciding what to do first. As best as he could tell, everyone was Muggle and Fred was the only wizard here. For a brief period, he had thought Janet might be a witch, her ability to apparate and conjure things certainly seemed like magic, but when he had asked, she had just looked at him like he was a particularly baffling version of an early pygmy puff.

At encouragement from Janet, he got some frozen yoghurt to eat as he wandered through the neighborhood. Surprisingly, he found it paled considerably in both taste and texture when compared to the late Fortescue’s masterpieces. Frowning in disappointment, Fred drew his wand and banished the offending frozen treat. He sighed. At least he still had his magic. Not that magic would do anything to improve frozen yoghurt and it looked like actual ice cream wasn’t an option.  _ Perhaps Florian landed in a different neighborhood? I’ll have to ask Janet. Maybe she can help me find him. _

Lying back on the springy blue-green grass, Fred stared up at the brilliant blue sky and daydreamed, trying to decide what he could do to pass the time.  _ Maybe there’s a market here for pranking supplies and gag gifts? Hmmm. Would wizarding wheezes work for Muggles? _

_ I miss George. I miss George and Ron and Gin and Harrikins and Mum and Dad. I even miss Percy! _

A raucous barking from across the field startled Fred from his maudlin thoughts. Sitting up, Fred looked to see a familiar-looking large black dog loping towards him. He blinked, that couldn’t be — “Snuffles?”

Skidding to a not quite stop, the dog barreled into Fred, knocking him over and straddling him. “Ooof!” Fred gasped then waved a hand in front of his face in an effort to dispel the hot, fragrant doggy breath being puffed at him. 

“Snuffles?” he asked incredulously. “Sirius, is it you?” 

The dog sprang to one side and in a blink, Sirius Black was crouched on the ground beside Fred, grinning madly.

“Gred? Or is it Feorge?” Sirius tilted his head to one side in question. “It’s hard to tell you apart when you're not side-by-side.”

“Fred.” 

Sirius quirked an eyebrow in challenge.

Fred shrugged. “There’s not much point in giving you the wrong name when George isn’t around.” 

“What are you doing here? Is Harry okay? What about Remus?”

“There was a battle; You-Know-Who attacked Hogwarts with scores of Death Eaters, dark wizards, werewolves and giants. When the wards came down we were all fighting for our lives.”

Sirius stared wide-eyed. “Merlin...What? Who?”

He met Sirius’ eyes and lifted his hands in a helpless gesture. “I don’t know how it ended or who lived or who died. I’m worried about my family. I’m worried about George. I hope he’s all right. I haven’t seen him here, but this is apparently one of many neighborhoods, so I doubt I’ll know if he survived or not.”

They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. The ‘sun’ had started to set when Fred stopped plucking at the grass and turned back to Sirius. “So tell me about you. It’s been two years since you died at the Battle of the Ministry of Magic. How long have you been here? What have you learned?”

Grimacing, Sirius stared across the field at a cottage with architecture that looked odd even for a Muggle’s home. “I’m not sure how long I’ve been here. It’s hard to tell time; every day is pretty much like the last. I arrived in some odd Muggle version of a waiting room and fled as Padfoot. To be honest, I’ve spent most of my time as Padfoot; it’s exhausting interacting with Muggles all the time.”

Fred nodded; he had noticed that himself. “So you haven’t seen any other wizards or witches?” 

“None. It’s like they don’t exist here and us arriving was a fluke. I have noticed that most of the Muggles smell strange. Like something’s burning. Or rotten eggs. It irritates my nose when I’m Padfoot, so I mostly stay away from them.”

“At least we have each other now.”

~*~*~

Eleanor paced the office, waving her arms. Stopping, she pressed a hand to her face and turned to look at Michael. “What is going on? Why are people showing up without files? This doesn’t make sense!”

Eyes wide with worry, Michael raised his hands in a helpless motion. “Janet?”

~*~*~

**Three**

Severus was not amused. 

Even if he had been a dedicated Death Eater at one point, he was pretty sure he had done nothing remotely deserving of this Muggle hell. His robes swished as he stalked along the pavement, ignoring curious glances from the dunderheads around him.  _ Who cares if they see wizarding garb — they’re dead. It’s not as if the Statute of Secrecy matters in the afterlife. _

Irritated by the crowd of people queued up for yet another ridiculous yoghurt shoppe, Severus raised his wand, intending to move them from his path.

“Nuh, uh, uh.” A dark haired woman appeared in front of him, smiling and blocking his aim. “Using magic against your neighbors is not allowed.”

Severus glared at her through narrowed eyes before lowering his wand and turning on his heel to cross the road. This existence was more painful than any hell he might have imagined. “Dear Merlin, save me from bunny Muggles,” he muttered. 

Stiffening at the involuntary, enforced censoring, Severus growled and quickened his pace, lost in his ire. 

“Severus!” The unexpected sound of his given name pulled Severus from his thoughts and he looked around. 

Two figures, one ginger and one dark, were circling the plaza fountain, heading towards him. They grew closer and Severus slammed his occlumency shields in place. One of the Weasley Terrible Twins and the Mutt. Seething and wanting nothing more than to be done with them, he waited.

“Severus!”

“Professor Snape!” The two men stopped a few feet away, though Weasley appeared to be restraining himself from a more physical greeting. 

_ Please, no. _ Closing his eyes, Severus drew a deep breath before speaking.

“Mr. Weasley,” he nodded amiably at the twin, then turned towards the bane of his existence. “Black, I do not recall giving you leave to use my given name,” he sneered.

“You didn’t,” Black responded. “Apparently this place won’t let me call you ‘Severus’. ‘Severus.’ ‘Severus!’ Oh you know what I’m trying to say, Snape!” Black’s obvious frustration was almost amusing. 

“Problem, Black?” Severus arched an eyebrow.

“Merlin’s bells! Why can’t I say what I want?” Sirius all but whined. “You’re a beepin’ Death Eater! It’s my right to insult you!”

Weasley burst into laughter and nearly lost his balance before catching the sour expression on Severus’ face and sobering. “All the neighborhoods in the Good Place, what are the odds we’d all end up here?”

Taking a moment to consider that, Severus had to agree that it seemed unlikely, not that it improved his mood.

_ I wonder where Albus is?  _

~*~*~

**Four and Five**

Remus smiled at Dora and squeezed her hand. Watching her struck down by the Killing Curse had been one of the worst moments of his life. He barely had time to react before the distraction cost him his own life. They had awoken within seconds of each other to find they were somewhere called The Good Place. 

Holding hands, they walked along the streets, getting accustomed to the neighborhood. While the afterlife was not what either of them had anticipated, they were relieved to be together. 

That relief soon melted and Remus held his wife as she cried over their separation from Teddy and how he would grow up an orphan. “Hopefully he has Mum,” Dora murmured, working to steady her breathing. 

“And Harry,” Remus added, running his hand down her back in a soothing motion.

“And Harry,” she agreed and sighed sadly into his shoulder. “He’ll understand and he can tell Teddy about us. But my poor boy—”

Before she could start sobbing again, Remus saw a tall ginger man walking alongside a black dog that he recognized with disbelief. “Sirius,” he wheezed.

Dora startled and pulled away, looking at Remus in confusion.

Remus pointed at the dog, drew a laboured breath and yelled, “Padfoot!”

The dog’s head jerked up and the animal looked around before spotting Remus and breaking into a run. His red-headed companion jolted, startled, before chasing after the dog. Padfoot — and Remus was now certain it was Padfoot — hardly slowed as he approached, barking excitedly.

Circling Remus and Dora excitedly, Padfoot barked and bounced, clearly forgetting in his enthusiasm to return to human form.

“Pads, human, please. We can’t understand you like this.” Remus shook his head in fond amusement. Before Remus could say anything else, Sirius was  _ there _ .

“Merlin! Remus! Tonks! You’re here?” Sirius grabbed Remus’ arms, as though to verify he was real.

Remus now saw Sirius’ companion was one of the Weasley twins, though which one was unknown. “Erm? Feorge?”

Finally remembering to return to human form, Sirius piped up. “Fred actually.” 

“Sirius!” Remus pulled him into a bearhug, amazed to see his best friend once more. The memory of seeing Sirius disappear through the Veil had haunted Remus into his afterlife.

Slapping his back, Sirius let out a bark of laughter. “Moony, mate, I never thought I’d see you again.” 

“Same,” Remus choked out, blinking rapidly. Sirius turned from Remus as Fred stepped back from hugging Dora.

“And Cousin Nymphadora—” Sirius started.

“That’s Mrs. Moony to you!” Dora waggled the fingers of her left hand in front of SIrius’ face. 

Silver blue eyes widened and looked at Remus. A wide grin split Sirius’ face. “Moony! You sly dog!” 

Remus rolled his eyes and turned to Fred. “I’m guessing Hogwarts?”

“Yeah, something exploded taking me with it.” Fred shrugged. “This place isn’t too bad, even if everyone is Muggle. Sirius and I are talking about trying to open a pranks shop. Not sure if there’s a market, but we’ll give it a try.”

“Is anyone else we know here?” Dora asked.

“We-e-ell,” Fred drawled, mouth twitching as though fighting off a smirk as he looked at Sirius.

“Severus!” Sirius growled, tone at odds with the fact that he said Snape’s name. “Severus! Severus! Forkity-fork, beepin’ help—grrr!” 

The look on Sirius’ face was priceless as he threw his face skyward and groaned in frustration, fists clenched at his sides. Fred bent over, guffawing loudly. And Dora looked from them to Remus, searching for an explanation he didn’t have.

“Merlin’s bells, this place is going to drive me spare.” Sirius grumbled. 

“And we will notice how?” At Snape’s trademark elocution, Dora spun around, wand drawn. 

The Potions Master was standing behind them, hands folded in front of him, a spark of amusement lighting his dark eyes as the corner of his mouth twitched.

“Professor!” Dora breathed. Remus shared her surprise. The last anyone in the Order knew, Snape had fled his post as Hogwarts Headmaster after being confronted by Minerva, Filius and Pomona, shortly before Voldemort and his forces arrived.

“You remained loyal to Dumbledore to the end,” he stated, recognising that had Snape truly been Voldemort’s man, he would not be here with them.

“Indeed,” Snape gave a single approving nod. “Someone had to stand between students and the Carrows.”

“So what’s going on with those two?” Remus tilted his head towards where Sirius was now nonsensically berating Fred who was red-faced and still laughing.

“Curse words are not permitted here and apparently the epithet Black insists on calling me has been deemed a curse word. Amusingly, the non-curse word that is being substituted is not the usual random bit of nonsense, resulting in Black only being able to call me by my name. Weasly finds it entertaining, which only serves to irritate Black further. As they have become thick as proverbial thieves, an endless floor show exists for us.”

Remus considered before nodding his agreement.

~*~*~

**\+ One**

Harry opened his eyes, read the words on the wall, and sighed with relief. He had made it. Gripping the Elder Wand tightly, he shook out his cloak and draped it around himself. It settled over him as the double doors to the right opened.

A woman with blond hair stopped out, mouth open to speak, only to see no one in the waiting room. With a huff, she shook her head and turned back into her office, muttering about  _ “forking bugs in the shirty system” _ .

Harry grinned and crept over to the single exit door; casting a silencing spell to muffle his footsteps, he went to find his family.

~*~*~

Hidden under his cloak, he cast Point Me and searched for Remus. In the wake of the Battle of Hogwarts, a grieving Harry had been visited by Death, who had some intriguing news. It seemed that a power struggle was underway in the Muggle afterlife, causing some recently deceased wizards and witches to be inadvertently diverted from their next great adventure. Consequently they had become trapped.

In other words, there was a chance that a wizard in possession of the Deathly Hallows might be able to rescue them and bring them home. 

Death had assured Harry that while success was not guaranteed, no harm would come to the Master of Death in attempting this feat. Now here Harry was, somewhere Magicals didn’t belong, trying to undo some of the evil wrought by Voldermort and his Death Eaters. First, he needed to find Remus. Fortunately he had magic to assist.

~*~*~

Bordering on a gorgeous park, nestled amongst tall trees was a homey cottage. When Harry saw it, he smiled in a mixture of relief and amusement. This was someplace he could definitely see Remus living, not those ridiculously overbuilt mansions that would make the Malfoys envious. Canceling the spell, he approached the front door and knocked.

The door cracked open, revealing a heart-shaped face with dark eyes twinkling from beneath easily recognized bubblegum pink hair. 

“Hey, Tonks,” Harry greeted.

In a flash, the door flew the rest of the way open and Harry stumbled a step back as his arms were filled with a shrieking and very much alive Nymphadora Tonks Lupin.

“Harry! Merlin, what are you doing— Oh no, you died?!?” Dismayed, Tonks pulled back and stared at Harry. Over her shoulder, he saw Remus, who looked as appalled as his wife, standing a few feet back.

“No...well, sort of?” Harry grimaced. “It’s rather a long story. Can I come in?”

“Of course, Harry, of course. Come in. Would you like some tea?” Remus pulled Tonks back to lean against him and ushered Harry inside, waving towards an archway. 

Stepping into the lounge, Harry stopped and turned to look at the two people he thought he’d never see alive again follow. They stopped before the sofa; all three of them staring. Harry’s vision grew blurry and he launched himself at them.

~*~*~

Harry was just getting his wayward emotions back under control when the front door opened and an achingly dear and well-missed voice called out.

“Moony! You’re not going to believe what happened—” Sirius stopped in the doorway, staring in shock at Harry. 

His godfather might have been something Snuffles had dragged in — clothes torn and smudged with soot smeared on his face and one side of his hair singed. But he looked wonderful.

“Sirius,” Harry gasped, standing from the sofa. It had been nearly two years since he’d laid eyes on his godfather. He hadn’t even dreamed that Death might have included him in the group of wizards and witches to be retrieved from the Muggle afterlife.

“Prongslet?” Sirius seemed equally surprised to see Harry; initial delight morphing to dismay. “Aw, Harry, what are you doing here?”

Before Harry could respond, someone joined Sirius in the doorway. “Fred?”

“Harrikins!” Physically, Fred didn’t look much better than Sirius, but he was grinning widely. With a glance at Sirius, who wasn’t moving, Fred stepped around the other wizard. Crossing to Harry, he hugged him hard before stepping back and looking him over. 

“What happened at Hogwarts?” Fred asked earnestly.

Sirius shook off his astonishment then and staggered over to pull Harry into an embrace that had Harry crying once more. 

Finally catching his breath, Harry pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to stave off a threatening headache. “So, before I get into any details, is there anyone else around here I should know about?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance and said as one, “Severus.”

Harry grinned. “Excellent! Remus, would you send him a patronus, letting him know we need to speak with him?”

~*~*~

“So what happened at Hogwarts, Harry?” 

Now that everyone, including Snape, was seated around the Lupins’ dinner table with mugs of their preferred brew, Fred repeated his question from earlier. 

Harry, still amazed and grateful to be surrounded by family once more, let out a heavy breath and began. He told of dying and seeing Dumbledore before deciding to return and finish Voldemort. He told of the last battle with Riddle and how he won the mythical Elder Wand. He told of the heavy losses and the emotional scars still carried by so many. He finished with his encounter with Death.

“Essentially,” he summarised. “Due to some cosmic mistake, when you died, all of you came here by accident, but this is not where you should be. Because you don’t belong here, I have the option to take you back home with me, where you will live out your normal lives.”

“We could see Teddy?” Hopeful tears glistened in Tonks’ eyes. Her grip on Remus’ hand was white-knuckled.

“You could raise him,” Harry responded firmly. He loved that he was Teddy’s godfather, but he knew what it was like to grow up without parents. Teddy deserved to have his. It was one of the reasons when Death offered the option to come here, Harry took it.

“We’re in,” Remus stated, raising their hands to kiss the back of Tonks’.

“Me, too,” Fred jumped in. “I have to make sure George doesn’t blow himself up during product development.”

“I, as well.” Snape’s voice was cool, but Harry could see the excitement burning in his eyes. “It’s impossible to brew potions when more than half the ingredients I need do not exist.’

“Sirius?” Harry looked at his godfather. “You in?”

The wizard snorted, “Need you ask?” 

“I suppose not.” Harry grinned. “Alright then, is there anything anyone wants to take with them?”

He looked at everyone only to see negative headshakes all around. Holding out the Elder Wand, Harry instructed everyone to grab hold. Once he saw everyone had, he smiled brilliantly and spoke. 

“There’s no place like home.”

~*~*~

Eleanor and Michael were touring the neighborhood. Strange things had been happening in recent weeks, not at the scale of when Eleanor first arrived, but odd, nonetheless. It seemed important to investigate the causes to ensure the collapse of the neighborhood was not imminent. 

So far, they had seen what appeared to be the remnants of a small explosion with no clear source in a deserted area of a less popular park. Then there had been the white, misty, wolf-shaped light flying past them and entering the forest at the edge of the neighborhood.

Now they stood before an unfamiliar but cozy-looking two story cottage with minimal landscaping, backed by tall trees. The architecture was English Tudor. Eleanor could not recall having seen it before, nor did she know who might live there.

“Michael, who lives here? I don’t think I’ve seen this house before.”

Confusion creased Michael’s brow as he shook his head slowly. “I don’t recall this being here the last time we were in this area.” 

Straightening his jacket, Michael approached the front door and knocked.

No one answered.

He knocked again. 

Nothing.

Deciding that there was likely no one home to object, Eleanor reached past Micheal and turned the knob. 

The door swung open to silence.

“Hello?” Eleanor called, ducking and squeezing past Michael to slip inside. When there was no answer she walked further inside before glancing back at Micheal who was still hovering on the threshold. “You know, sometimes I definitely wonder which of us was the evil demon.”

Shaking off her mocking, Michael entered the house and walked past where she stood in the hallway, not stopping until he reached the back of the house. Eleanor followed to find him staring at a table with several partially empty mugs scattered across its surface. Chairs were unevenly pushed back from the table. All in all, it looked as though the room’s former occupants had left in a hurry, not bothering to tidy up.

“What the—” Eleanor started.

“Janet will know,” Micheal cut her off with a wave of his hand. “Janet.” 

A peaceful, enigmatic smile on her face, Janet appeared. “Hello Michael, Eleanor. How can I help?”

“Janet,” Michael gestured around the room and residence beyond. “Who lives here?”

“No one,” Janet responded.

“Well, why does it look as though someone does and that they left in a hurry? Was it spies from The Bad Place?” Michael’s agitation was increasing at that prospect.

“Do not worry. There’s no cause for concern.” Janet cheerfully reassured them.

“Everything is fine.”

~fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Flutterfyre would like to thank cheshiretears for a wonderful PodTogether experience! Also, thanks to Ceewelsh for a last minute beta read!
> 
> And cheshiretears would like to thank Flutterfyre for the same! It was an exciting experience! Thanks for reading and listening!
> 
> Music credits (in order of use):  
> [The Good Place Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-TrWspLHY) by David Schwartz  
> [Life of a Dog](https://www.free-stock-music.com/alexander-nakarada-life-of-a-dog.html) by Alexander Nakarada  
> [Fernweh](https://www.free-stock-music.com/myuu-fernweh.html) by Myuu  
> [Deep In The Night](https://www.free-stock-music.com/chillin_wolf-deep-in-the-night.html) by chillin_wolf  
> [(An) Second](https://www.free-stock-music.com/soimanislander-an-second.html) by So I'm An Islander  
> [Lurking Sloth](https://www.free-stock-music.com/alexander-nakarada-lurking-sloth.html) by Alexander Nakarada  
> [Melodic Interlude Two](https://www.free-stock-music.com/alexander-nakarada-melodic-interlude-two.html) by Alexander Nakarada  
> [Field of Fireflies](https://www.free-stock-music.com/purrple-cat-field-of-fireflies.html) by Purrple Cat  
> [Emotional Piano Improvisation](https://www.free-stock-music.com/alexander-nakarada-emotional-piano-improvisation.html) by Alexander Nakarada  
> [Form and Number](https://www.free-stock-music.com/savfk-form-and-number.html) by Savfk  
> [Forest Walk](https://www.free-stock-music.com/alexander-nakarada-forest-walk.html) by Alexander Nakarada


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